Okay, the relay as it turns out was for the A/C fan, which has since been removed, so I removed all that wiring too.
I messed around with the cam gear and ultimately settled on about +2.5° advance, which has definitely woken things up. It still has this odd miss, I have tried to capture it on video, I'll upload it in a bit. It's very noticeable when you're cruising along and just feathering the throttle. I remember the wagon has always had this miss even before we pulled the engine or did the manual swap or any of that. I water tortured the engine so now I need to change the oil. It didn't seem to help a whole lot. Might be worth adding some ATF to the oil before I change it to really wash it out, as you can see from the below photo it has had a hard life.
I was going to swap the head to a 530 when I put the T3 cam in anyway, so maybe I should just leave it until then.